The sick strange darkness came creeping on, haunting me every time, like spiders catching insects and eating their insides. The punishment I had to endure was far from being over. In the darkness of my room, I lay on the cushioned bed, the only thing that supported and comforted my lifeless body. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t dream that night. I stared at the blank ceiling and felt the urge to hear his voice inside my head.
“Please stop this pain, make it go away,” I whispered to myself, clutching my chest until I felt the stinging pain of my nails scraping my skin.
It was 7 o’clock in the morning when I rolled out of bed, heading for the bathroom. I turned the shower knobs and waited for the steam to fog up the bathroom tiles and mirrors. The warmth of the water kissed against my skin and made goose bumps rise on all ends of my body.
“Ouch! Why does it hurt?”
I stepped out of the shower and wiped the mirror clean to see what was wrong. Three long, blemishes trailed down from top of my right chest to the center where my heart beats. The swollenness of the scar is as if an earth worm was embedded into my chest and stretched out the clear white of my skin tone. By the time it was 8:30, Rebecca was at my door ready to walk me to school.
“Finally, you took so long. Aren’t you excited, its casual Friday,” she asked as she glimpsed away from my blemishes.
“Not really. I can’t believe I haven’t used the computer in two weeks. It’s driving me insane,” I groaned staring at the grey sky. “Plus, my family and I have to stay an extra two weeks because it’s impossible to sell my house.”
“That’s because you posted those pictures online and are now banned from using your computer or electronics for two years.”
A spark of annoyance hit me from disbelief at her tone being pleased. We walked into first period and prepared for the work out. In the locker room I saw Rebecca dolling herself up. She applied rosy pink lip gloss and wore probably the shortest shorts and picked her hair up into a neat side ponytail.
“Geez Beca, why are you trying to look all hoochie momma during gym class,” I asked frustrated leaving the locker room.
“No reason. You know Will called me last night,” she said making my body freeze in place.
I turned and glanced at her. Why would he be calling her of all people? Is she trying to provoke me? The sound of an elevator rang through the speakers around the school.
“Great Beca, now we are late for class,” I said agitated leaving the locker room.
The class lined up against the batting cage and waited for each player to strike out. It was boy vs. girls and without a doubt we were losing. I watched as Beca stepped to the plate and prepared to get burned. With hand-me down knee pads to outdated bats, she bent her knees and banged the rusty bat against the plate signaling she was ready. I couldn’t bear to watch the sight of the pitcher. My parents warned me to stay away from him. He was about my height and powerfully built. His muscles were long and lean instead of bulky. He had short, black hair with smooth milk chocolate skin that brought out his emerald green eyes.
“Come on, Will. Give me all you got,” Rebecca said while she quickly blew a kiss to him without anyone but me noticing.
My hands clenched into tight fist that made the roundness of my knuckles appear pure white. I shot a look at Will and noticed the way he stared at her. His eyes lingered on her ivory legs and his fingers twitched for the longing of her skin. I raised my fist and banged against the wired fence making my anger bounce off into vibrations.
“Throw the damn ball, Will,” I yelled breaking him from her seductive trance.
Without thinking he threw the ball, but the angle wasn’t right. It curved to the right and the force of the ball plunged against the right side of her face. She fell to the ground and the bat collided on the back of her head. The sound of gasps filled the entire field. I couldn’t believe the satisfaction of her pain brought a smile to my face; it sent chills through my body.
“Rebecca,” Will yelled as he rushed to her.
I watched as he picked her up and cradled her as if she were a new born. The pain of jealously ate me up inside making my hate for her grow. I wanted to rip her off his arms and thrash her across the field, but the strange sense of guilt seep through me. It was 12 o’clock; I walked aimlessly in the hallway worrying if Rebecca was alright. I leaned against the wall letting its sturdiness support my weight. I remembered how she was always there for me when times were tough. Every year, she always bought me cake when it was my birthday even though no one remembered. We went everywhere together and had similar tastes in food.
“I’m sorry Beca, for being jealous” I whispered to myself.
I walked to the nurse’s office forgetting all the hate I had for her. I was right at the door when I heard muffling sounds coming from the other side. I grabbed the knob and slid the door open just enough for me to see what was going on.
“You know you could’ve dodged that ball Beca.”
He grabbed a wet cloth and doused it with warm water and threw it towards her. He leaned against the nurse’s chair and watched Rebecca wipe off the dirt on her face. She glanced at him and noticed that he was watching her every move; she smiled.
“Why do you provoke me like this,” Will said as he turned his head away from her.
“Why do you try to ignore the fact that you’re still in love with me? You called me for the past four nights telling me how you missed me and that you still had feelings for me,” Beca said as she started to get frustrated.
The ache from my heart hurt from the realization of his true feelings. I grabbed at my chest but flinched from the blemishes I still had.
“That was a mistake…I hadn’t spoken to Kathy in weeks. I felt lonely,” Will said as he looked down at the tile floor
“I love her and I still have feelings for you too. I just can’t let both of you go.”
He grabbed his head in frustration as if applying pressure was a way to find the answer. Will was bent low on his knees tracing the square pattern of the tile floor.
“Forget her. Forget everything about her. She’s made you miserable and now she’s not speaking to you. She’s a low life and a selfish girl,” Rebecca said as she knelt close enough for their noses to touch.
I couldn’t believe the words that came out of her mouth. It was like a slap to the face but with the force of a fist punch. I closed the door when their lips began to touch, I closed the door to our friendship and past that held peaceful memories.
