Oh, sorry, did I scare you?

Danielle Deraleau, Featured Columnist

     In honor of Halloween, what scares you? My physics class, some people might say. Or clowns. I don’t understand this, seeing as I never felt traumatized or threatened by the giant red nose they wear. Granted, those creepy clowns with the dark eyes and sharp teeth do make me shiver a little. For me, it’s always been lizards. They terrify me. You might be thinking, “But Danielle! Lizards are awesome! They eat bugs!” Well, good for them. They creep me out, and whenever a gecko wanders into my house, I’ll be the one standing on a chair while I urge my brother to capture it and take it outside. However, after what happened a few weeks ago, I now have to add spiders to my list of fears.

     I was completely unsuspecting as I walked into the Spirit Halloween store with my mother. We were killing time, saw the place, and decided to go in. I find Halloween stores enjoyable. I like to walk around and look at all of the costumes and decorations. As my mom and I picked our way through the store, we neared the back, where all of the items for homes were on display.

     They had everything from yard decorations to party favors. As an example of what your yard could look like if you really took the time to make it spectacular, a huge zombie display was set up. It had sound effects, strobe lights, and music. I don’t really care for zombies, so I distracted myself with my phone, walking a little bit ahead of my mother.

     Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a giant fake spider. And when I say it was big I mean it. The thing was roughly the size of a toddler. It was one of those black fuzzy wire ones that come in all sizes and make good quick decorations. Besides it’s glowing red eyes, it didn’t bother me. That is, until I passed by it and triggered a motion sensor.

     When I think about what happens next, I kind of wonder if the store had a surveillance camera. Trust me, if I could get this on tape I would probably convert it to slow motion, post it on YouTube, and rake in a million or more views.

     Because after I triggered that motion sensor the giant spider leapt a good five feet into the air towards me, complete with a high pitched mechanical hissing sound.

     I was completely unprepared for that.

     I would love to say I laughed at the feeble attempt at a startle and walked away. But did I? Nope.

     No, instead I screamed. I jumped backwards. I grabbed my mom by the arm and attempted to push her in front of me as a human shield.

     Smooth, I know.

     With another low hiss the spider retreated back into it’s resting position, waiting for it’s next victim. I took a breath, and tried to calm my heart that was beating so fast it was my own drum line. The spider’s red eyes stared at me tauntingly.

     When my mother had finished laughing, I considered telling her that this never happened, and to keep this secret between us. But, let’s be honest. If it was her that had happened to be walking in front and received the fright, would I have kept it quiet? Of course not.

     As you know, Halloween is right around the corner. And without a “scary” aspect Halloween just wouldn’t be Halloween. So I encourage you to enjoy Halloween this year. Go out. Get scared. Scare someone yourself. Better yet, get it on tape. Become a YouTube sensation. No, I’m just kidding. But I am very serious when I warn you: stay away from spiders.