It has been a recent trend on social media to pressure young males into acting a certain way. On social media, men have been feeling pressured to lean more into their masculine or feminine sides, and look according to certain standards. This has led to the rise of men who put on an act in order to attract the attention of women. Whether that’s reading feminist literature, drinking matcha or wearing quarter zips, the term “performative male” has been coined by the online community.
The attributes of a performative male are to read, journal, have feminist views, act emotional, and listen to indie music. They dress a certain way and adapt certain hairstyles, like mullets and mustaches (Benson Boone and Harry Styles). This style also includes carrying a tote bag and clipping labubu’s to a belt loop, and wearing clothes deemed as “feminine”.
What I would argue makes someone with this style performative is whether they genuinely like it or if they just post videos and pictures of themselves to display themselves in a certain light.
It’s totally okay to take interest in these things, but arguably not when purely for attention. Don’t get me wrong, I personally love Clairo, Labubus, and matcha. The difference is that I don’t enjoy these things for show. I liked matcha before it was popular, and when everyone said it tasted like grass. Clairo was my second top artist on Spotify Wrapped, because I genuinely enjoy her music. There’s a difference between saying you like something and actually liking it. I mean, it’s a little weird to post a TikTok saying you “cry in the shower to phoebe bridgers” in order to gain attention and sympathy from women online.
Instead of acting like another person to “bag” a girl, men should learn to be authentic. While women have wanted support, faking being a feminist is not cool or attractive. I have seen men all over social media making immature jokes about feminist topics. On TikTok, there are videos of men making jokes about periods like “Give us the periods so the women don’t have to.” The lack of scientific research and tabooness of the topic of periods is still prevalent to this day, and although it might not be a big deal to make one of those jokes, it still shows the character of the man making the joke. The fastest way to show that you don’t actually care for women’s rights and their treatment in this world is to pass it off as a joke. Pretending to care about interests that are deemed “feminine” just pushes the narrative that women dominated interests shouldn’t be taken seriously. It makes no sense to buy a journal you never write in, to drink “girly” drinks you don’t actually like, and buy classical paperback books that will only sit on the bookshelf. Instead men should pour their time and energy into their authentic self and genuine habits. To view men who are actually emotional, listen to Clario, drink matcha and read classic literature as “performative” is also just as harmful than an actual performative male. This leads to men who lead a false stereotype they don’t even associate with, which causes the men who actually have these interests to feel worried they will be labeled as performative.
The term “performative male” is harmful to both young men and women. To the men who don’t want to be made fun of for taking on more feminine traits, and the women who have to hear their interests get made fun of. It’s not just a term that rose on social media for no reason either. It shows our current status quo of the fear of always being judged and the rising traditional social norms in our society. So If you find yourself reading classic literature or drinking matcha for the ladies, just know being actually genuine in your interests would get you a lot further than any mullet or cardigan would.
